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as a feather, as a board

by cedarmere

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1.
powerless 03:23
keep having the strangest dreams they involve you and him and other things unsettling can’t remember remembering my dreams each morning i wake up to thoughts of vivid scenes and i’m scared but can’t even scream don’t ever think i’ve felt this guilty so now i’ve cleaned my room i can see my floor and i’m avoiding food to assume control but i feel as powerless as ever and this isn’t a dream anymore no this isn't a dream anymore
2.
old soul 02:31
i don't know why stupid little things you say stick in my head like glue fuck being so sensitive over everything and especially you cuz I'm pining over a lost cause digging a deeper hole we all know I'm impulsive and i have shitty self control but everything feels different now and as a i sat warm from beers and sun hanging on to your every word i felt like a kid again i haven't felt like this in a while but recently I've been feeling my age maybe it's cause ur an old soul maybe it's pheromones, who fucking knows i never get sick of you but I'm scared you'll get sick of me i know i can be a lot I'm either completely down, or too high energy cuz I'm pining over a lost cause digging a deeper hole we all know I'm hopeless and i have shitty self control and i told u how i feel but in the right light, this feels pretty fucking real it feels pretty fucking real this feels pretty fucking real it feels pretty fucking real real pretty fucking real
3.
it’s always moments like these snap me out of it i swear that it's a disease believe me or not what’s the difference they say you’ll reach a higher level of consciousness cause that’s totally what it’s all about light as a feather stiff as a board and when i get out of the haze just hope i have the energy to get out for good till next time when change and stress trigger and i am a mess i swear that's when i feel best i swear that's when i feel best i swear that's when i feel best
4.
pretend 03:02
bleaching my hair again something i do when feeling unstable as if changing my looks could change the person within it’s funny how other people can influence my mood once i get this off my chest i’ll find something else to bother me been drinking a lot lately it helps me to dull the unspoken it helps me to pretend i’m not broken
5.
6.

credits

released December 19, 2020

recorded and mixed at sheeptown (our living room)

Jessy Arin- lyrics, vocals, acoustic guitar, field recordings, mixing

Avery Budnick- lead guitar, bass, and drums

Chris Otero- recording, mixing for the sick harmonic interlude in sitting still, and various panning throughout the album

Boone (dog)- being an absolute monster while we tried to record/mix via loud barking and destruction

special thank u to:

Mark Hilbert (Waterpepper)- for all of his help, for being a sounding board for all my ideas, and for listening to all my shitty early versions/recordings/mixes of these songs

Moseph (mo) (da lawn)- for moral support and listening to so many mixes

Zach- for literally just vibin' at sheeptown

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cedarmere Albany, New York

it's called dreamcore baby

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